A Muslim's Life in the U.S. – Prianka Alam (rerelease)

Episode 73. 
Prianka Alam has retained the dedication to helping her family and Muslim community in Maryland that she learned as a young immigrant child. The financial uncertainty growing up has prompted a craving for stability and security as an adult, in short a boring life. These desires drove Prianka to focus on her education, career path and a husband who would be Muslim and a good partner for future children. She has found all of that and more, though it brings the expected stress and demand to wear many hats – DEI professional, wife, mother, daughter, student of Islam and volunteer as a board member of Penny Appeal USA. COVID increased the need to juggle competing demands, while Ramadan offers her ease, more open time for studying the Qur’an, and guiding her children. 

Highlights:
·       It is difficult to be a Muslim in the US, but she’s grateful for the struggle. 

·       Government policies and social attitudes affect how she lives as a Muslim. The family’s safety is always considered.

·       She’s rarely seen colleagues who are also Muslim, a woman of color, or South Asian. 

·       Islam inspires her to work with purpose and help those in need. 

·       Ramadan is an opportunity to study the Qur’an and celebrate with her family and community.


References:
Yaqeen Institute – https://yaqeeninstitute.org/what-islam-says-about

Social Media links for Prianka:
Penny Appeal USA – https://pennyappealusa.org/

Social Media links for Méli:
Talking with God Project
LinkedIn – Meli Solomon
Facebook – Meli Solomon


Transcript: 


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Transcript

Prianka Alam transcript

Islam is a Journey of Growth

[Music]

INTRODUCTION:

Méli:  Hello and welcome to Living Our Beliefs, a home for open conversations with fellow Christians, Jews, and Muslims. Through personal stories and reflection, we will explore how our religious traditions show up in daily life – at work, at home, in the community, in good times and in bad.  There is no one-size-fits-all ‘right’ answer, just a way to move forward for you, for here, for now.  I am your host Méli Solomon.  So glad you could join us.  

[Music]

Méli:  This is episode thirty-seven and my guest today is Prianka Alam. Prianka works at a top global consulting firm where she focuses on gender balance, diversity, equity, and inclusion (known as DEI), supporting more than 300,000 professionals. She studied behavioral psychology and program evaluation, and has a Masters in Industrial Organizational Psychology from the University of Maryland. In her free time, she supports her community as a Board Member for Penny Appeal USA, a global humanitarian organization. Prianka lives in Maryland with her family. A link to her social media handles are listed in the show notes. 

Méli:  Hello Prianka. Wonderful to have you on my Living Our Beliefs podcast. Thank you for joining me today. 

Prianka:  Thank you for having me.                          

Méli:  I'd like to begin with my usual first question. What is your cultural and religious identity? 

IDENTITY & BACKGROUND:

Prianka:  I am from Bangladesh. I am Muslim, a Sunni Muslim. 

Méli:  When did you move to the US? 

Prianka:  I moved to the US when I was between three and four. 

Méli:  So quite young with your family, right? 

Prianka:  Yes, I was with my brother and my mom and dad that I moved to the US we moved to Maryland. We had family in Maryland. That's where we've been and I haven't moved really since we moved here. 

Méli:  Why did your family move to the US? 

Prianka:  I think it was a few reasons, almost as a developing country, right? And so there's more opportunities for us in the US in terms of education. What we were going to be able to access for my parents. It really was to make sure we could have a better life. Kind of seeing my aunt and uncle who had lived in the US and been thriving for some time living in the US gave us an opportunity to kind of think about what life would be like. So for my parents, it's really our education and they knew that was going to be a very hard life coming to the US but I think from the educational front, it would be a good return on investment. 

Méli:  Right, fair enough. How would you describe the connection your family has since then with Bangladesh and is there still family there? 

Prianka:  They have still have a very strong connection to Bangladesh. They've been living in the US for close to 30 years now and they visit whether it be every other year or after a few years. Right now my father lives half of his time is in Bangladesh and the other half is in the US. My mother visits and goes back and forth as well. COVID made it very difficult for our family just simply because either we were there or here and and we were essentially stuck until we could go visit the others. But as far as my family that lives there, my father's side, all lives in Bangladesh, my mother's side have all kind of immigrated. To the US. They live fairly close to us as well, but we very much have a strong tie to where we're from. 

Méli:  I'm curious as as a Muslim, do you feel like it's quite different to be a Muslim in the US than it is in Bangladesh? 

BEING A MUSLIM IN THE US & ABROAD:

Prianka:  That's a really interesting question because I've reflected on that a lot and my husband and I have talked about this. I think it is extremely difficult being a Muslim in the US in the sense that to practice your religion, it's not convenient in the US. Meaning there is no mosque at every corner, you don't see oftentimes people that look like you, so I wear a hijab. There's not Islamic schools for your children to go to and learn all these things about the history and the religion. There isn't a place to pray everywhere you go, whether it's a restaurant or wherever you are. Those things you have to really go out of your way to really practice your religion. You are different. You're perceived as different. When you go to Muslim countries, and I've been to a few, but speaking about Bangladesh, it's quite easy because Islam is part of the culture and the religion, and it's the, you know, majority religion in the country. So you're woken up in the morning by the Adhan, the call for prayer, every morning so you're reminded to pray. There's a mosque in every corner, every bathroom has a space to wash yourself before prayer. You know there's spaces to pray for women and men and and you know every home has a prayer rug available to you. So it it it's quite easy to practice your religion because it's just a part of the culture. It's something everyone knows. I think in the US it it is something that you have to choose. You have to choose to be Muslim in the US.

Méli:  And I understand that from my own experience. So when I lived in Germany as a Jew, it was harder than it is in the US, in big cities in the US. But that said, and something I experienced and I've heard from another Muslim I spoke with, but I'm not hearing from you is, is there any upside to that difficulty of being Muslim, of practicing Islam in the US? 

Prianka:  Absolutely, I'm grateful for being in the US. I'm grateful that I get I got to choose to Muslim. I'm grateful for the struggle to be able to not have it just handed to me, for it to be so convenient for me. Because it allows me to be more intentional about things I do. And it allows me to, you know, be able to go a little bit further to go to the mosque to pray, or I have to go a little bit further to take my kids to Islamic schools. We have a saying, and I know this word is very controversial, but it's called jihad. The actual translation, means struggle and it means anything – it could be struggle with a person, it could be a struggle within yourself, or a struggle or hardship or an obstacle. When I think about living in the US and having to practice my religion, it is difficult. But there's just so much fruits to that labor of being able to go out of your way and take the harder path. And it's much more fulfilling being able to have that struggle and obstacles, but being able to practice it. 

Méli:  No, that's good to hear. And I again, that's what I experienced in Germany and what the other Muslim I spoke with also said. What about the other aspects of your identity? So it's harder for you to be a Muslim in America. You're also a woman of color and you wear a headscarf. So is it possible to parse where it's difficult because of race versus where it's difficult because of religion? Can you tell that in your daily life? 

Prianka:  Because I wear hijab and I'm so overtly Muslim in that sense, where I don't hide it, I wear a headscarf, I wear modest clothes. It is very hard to tease apart my religion away from my ethnicity. When people see my name Prianka Alam, they don't necessarily think I'm Muslim. I think they oftentimes – because of that name and celebrities that are in in the media now – they often think I'm Indian. And then when they meet me in person they recognize: ‘OK. She's South Asian and she is Muslim’. And so it's it's very clear at that point. So for me to tease out the challenges of being a woman of color versus being Muslim, it's hard because it's it's all in one for me as far as challenges I mean I've definitely experienced hardships in terms of just my daily life, with things that have happened in terms of the US administration and and the past President, a lot of those policies, a lot of the agenda that was being pushed out, a lot of the impact of the messaging that was coming from that previous administration had a lot of impact. You know, in my life and in the life of our family and as we're all results, some of the choices I have made and in terms of how I work, how I navigate, how I live my life was impacted greatly. I'm very much aware I am Muslim whenever I go anywhere.Being a mother, I take my children places and so I'm very aware of my surroundings for safety reasons. And then in terms of the workplace, absolutely. I've not met a person that looks like me in the work that I do in leadership positions.I'm in a very large consulting firm and I have yet to meet in the US, at least a woman that looks like me in the workplace. And so, you know, just lack of role models, lack of folks that have had similar experiences, I don't for one second forget who I am and what I look like and how I would be perceived. It could be a safety concern for me or my family, or could be dangerous and and I've definitely had situations where it has been just because of how I look.

Méli:  Sorry to hear that. Wish I was surprised, but I'm afraid I'm not. I am a little surprised and certainly disheartened to hear that even working in a large consulting firm, that you don't see women who look like you. And you said you don't see them in leadership positions. Are there any lower down the hierarchy or really not at all in the organization? 

Prianka:  No, absolutely. I think there's a lot in junior positions, entry level positions. The consulting firm that I work for is global and in different countries, very predominantly Muslim countries, there are women that look like me in very aspirational positions, right. So I just maybe it's just my exposure to them in this area. I have not but but I'm sure there is some out there. 

Méli:  Perhaps this podcast will inspire more connection. What about in earlier jobs? 

Prianka:  So I started my career in research. I went to University of Maryland, Baltimore County. It's a college that's a sister college, University of Maryland, College Park. Folks are very much familiar with that school. And it is in the Baltimore region, in Maryland. And so in that region there is a very, very strong Muslim community and there's a lot of presence of South Asians and Muslims. And so going to that school, I did a lot of work, research work in that school as well. And so from there I went off to do research work at Johns Hopkins as well and I continue to do more research work and then I I went on to a small social policy firm. Throughout those experiences working in research, unfortunately I did not really come across anyone that looked like me. Maybe one other person and I was very eager and very happy to see someone that they might be Muslim, but they might not be South Asian or they might be South Asian, but they might be not Bengali or something, but it was just nice to see someone that looked similar to me. And oftentimes with those individuals – and I can literally count to one person in each organization that I worked for – we would oftentimes connect because it just, it made it so natural. It was so organic, the relationship that built because we had gone through similar life experiences. So you know, I will say working at my current company that I've definitely seen more than one, but it is definitely at the junior position than my colleague levels, not so much at the leadership positions. 

Méli:  All of that makes a lot of sense and I well, I'm glad there's some, some amount of connection. And I suppose one could say that while you haven't seen much in terms of role models above you, you are providing an important role model for folks lower down the chain. 

Prianka:  I hope so. I haven't really thought that one through. I'm very much an open book. I I hope I'm not just a role model to other Muslims or other South Asians, but also women, women of color regardless, or any kind of similarities that we might have. 

Méli:  Is there any mentoring system in your company that might kind of facilitate that? 

Prianka:  Yeah, absolutely. There's definitely mentoring in in my organization. But the thought is in terms of mentoring, it's so much into your interest, your passion, your background, not necessarily on your physical attributes, but I think those kinds of mentoring opportunities is something that you kind of navigate through yourself. In terms of like employee resource groups or business resource groups, I just have not come across ones that are specific to me, at least. And maybe that's an opportunity for my organization. But for me in terms of building relationships in the workplace, I think for me it has to be absolutely organic or we have to work together. Some sort of organic kind of connection that needs to happen in order for that mentorship or relationship to build. 

Méli:  So you don't feel particularly inspired to to create that opportunity. You'd like it to be more organic. 

JUGGLING ROLES:

Prianka:  I think if there, if there was an individual that had similar experiences, absolutely I would be able to kind of build that. One of the things that's kind of tricky in in the work that I do is, and I think with all jobs really, it's since COVID hit. I think a lot of professionals realize how much they are juggling at work and outside of the job. I wear several hats as a human being. I wear a hat where I am in a position where I'm working as a team member for work in the workplace. I am a mom of two boys, two toddlers or preschoolers now actually. I'm a spouse to someone. I'm also a daughter to two parents that I take care of who are aging. You know, I'm also a person that is kind of the sounding board and a friend to, you know, across my friend group. And also a person that is person that can help in our family, since a lot of my family have moved from Bangladesh, they need a lot of support. And so I'm also that person of of being their advocate, being the person to transcribe something or be able to take them to appointments and things like that. So I think for me, I really view, and I know this might be a bit controversial, view my work as an opportunity to be able to give the life to my children, to my family, to myself that I wasn't able to [have] growing up. So I really look at my job. I love my job, absolutely. Do I put my all into it? But I also am putting in just enough energy to be able to build relationships as I should, but really make sure I leave time and energy into those other aspects of my life that are just as critical, if not more. 

Méli:  Those are a lot of hats. It sounds like you're juggling things. You're very mindful of the balances you're trying to maintain. And I don't know, maybe it's because it's Sunday afternoon, but I'm not hearing a lot of stress. 

Prianka:  Oh no, there's so much stress. So I will just give you a little bit of my life what happened. So last night I've I probably have maybe two or three hours of sleep. My 5-year-old had a stomach bug so every hour on the hour was vomiting, and then I have a 3-year-old who right before this over this conversation, was vomiting all over my kitchen floor. So it very much is one of those things that comes with the territory, being a parent, being a mom in particular. So absolutely there’s stress. I think this was exacerbated with COVID is a lot of women feel like they wear several hats and they're balancing and they're constantly juggling. It's taking a toll on their mental health and I can definitely attest to that myself of how much I'm balancing. And I'm not going to be perfect at everything and I and it's hard sometimes for me, at least personally, I'm a perfectionist to accept that I can't be perfect at all of these elements and be there for everyone. But you know, it's all in a day's worth that I do my best. 

Méli:  Every mother of young children that I know has had that experience through COVID. And thank God we're we're on the the other end of that awful experience. So speaking of the challenges and being pulled in so many directions, how do you think your faith and practice supports you or maybe doesn't support you in those moments? 

HOW FAITH SUPPORTS:

Prianka:  I think my faith is the only thing that keeps me going. We mentioned earlier that when you're in the US, you have to choose to be Muslim. And though I was born Muslim and I people sometimes forget because looking at my name, but I was born Muslim. But there was a point in my life that I had to choose it and it was because of the hardships that I was going through my life. We talked about earlier how I moved to the US and I was three, four between three and four, with my parents and my brother, my older brother. You know, we came to the US not with much. Honestly, coming from a developing country, we didn't have much. We lived with my aunt and my uncle and and their son for a little bit and then it came to a point where very tight when in a two-bedroom apartment for all of us and so we had to find our own place and these memories are very vivid and and maybe it's because I choose not to relive them but sometimes. But I do remember how difficult it was growing up being an immigrant with parents that didn't understand the language. I personally didn't understand the language going into first grade, not knowing a lick of English and trying to navigate what everyone is talking about at the same time. Trying to learn English as quickly as possible so I can help my parents fill out forms when we go to doctor's offices. As a child, parents being at work, and it's my brother and I at home with the doors locked just in case, and he's he's babysitting me because we have no other form of childcare at this point. So I think growing up it was very, very difficult. I was told I was Muslim, we fasted, we prayed. As much as we could, we were good human beings. We learned the stories, we learned bits and pieces, you know, what Islam is about. But we weren't able to do kind of all the extra simply because our priority was making sure there was food on the table. We had a place to stay the next month, making sure there was enough money. So for me growing up, I was a Muslim, but I didn't choose it. As life went on, I became very much aware of how little we had growing up. You had a turning point as a child when you're very aware of your surroundings and what you have and what you don't have. And so once I became more and more aware. It became clear to me because I went into college, that I wanted to choose to be Muslim. I wanted to learn more about my religion. I wanted to eat halal, you know, I wanted to be thoughtful about what I say and how I interact with people and how I navigate life, the sense of morality. It was clear to me at that point I wanted to be more modest in what I wear and then slowly it, sure enough, I wanted to wear hijab. And then I wanted to think about who do I want to be my spouse, and what is their connection to Islam going to be? You know, who is this person that's going to be helping you raise my children? How do I want to raise them? And so those kinds of questions started bubbling up. At the same time, when I was going through a lot of hardship, personally, we were financially, we were struggling a lot more. I think in those really, really difficult times, I just kind of buckled down in terms of being more focused in my career. Focused on my education and then understanding where religion was and allowing that to give me ease. That is when I started choosing. Since then it's been a choice for me an everyday choice, when I wake up in the morning of what I choose to do and how I engage with my religion and my spirituality how I who I'm interacting with how I am in the world.

Méli:  Are there certain values and/or practices that are key in that experience for you? 

Prianka:  Absolutely. I have a lot of anxiety and I've I've recognizing this in myself. Because I had a very unstable childhood, I've recognized that I crave stability. I crave predictability. I crave the boring. I crave perfectionism I crave all those things. Because I didn't have that so much growing up. You know, I dreamed, I prayed for a white picket fence and a happy, stable family where we didn't have to worry about finances or anything else. So for me, when I have those moments where I was extremely anxious, I pray. I do my best to pray five times a day. That's very important to me. That gives me ease when I'm very anxious. I make Dua, which is when I am asking for support from God. I'm I'm praying for support. So I make a lot of Dua. I pray a lot. I oftentimes do Dhikr, which is when you kind of internalizedly saying certain words in in the Qur’an and the names of Allah to just give you ease and peace. I oftentimes listen to lectures on my phone of different Muslim scholars and leaders, they give me ease. And then there are moments where when I have conversations with my friends about Islam that gives me a lot of ease. These moments are probably the moments where I find the most ease, when I'm anxious or overwhelmed or something's going on. 

Méli:  Right. So I'm hearing the Dua, which I understand this is really your personal prayers. 

Prianka:  Yes. 

Méli:  This other word I didn't quite understand sounds like a mantra almost. 

Prianka:  Yes, Dhikr. Yes, it is. So we'll say, alhamdulilah, which is when we're grateful and thankful to God for what we have. So sometimes I will do that during my prayer. So I think it's those kind of elements or I engage with like local activities like the mosque that gives that gives me a lot of peace as much as possible as well. 

Méli:  Yes, there's some community. 

Prianka:  Absolutely. 

Méli:  And what about the experience at work? We've already spoken some about not seeing other women who look like you. But your work entails increasing diversity and equity. Could you speak a little about that and and how how that experience is for you? 

DIVERSITY, EQUITY & INCLUSION (DEI):

Prianka:  Yeah, I'm currently in this kind of short-term gig where I am in a global role of doing diversity, equity, inclusion and my priority in that work is under gender balance and ensuring that there are opportunities and sponsorship opportunities for women at different levels in different countries, so engage with different countries as well. Some of the other elements of that work that I do is, I just more recently started doing some work around disability and neurodiversity, building guidances and kind of understanding what is the global standard we can provide to different consulting firms within our organization, different countries. 

Méli:  Wow, interesting. That's a very broad mandate. 

Prianka:  Thankfully, I'm not a team of one. There's several team members. So we cross and and do as much as we can, but it is very fulfilling. My religion has really guided me in the work that I've wanted to do, which is making sure whatever I do is with purpose and is going to be helping someone in my career. I started off doing research in Baltimore City schools. In my undergraduate program and I moved into doing work at Johns Hopkins, working with patients that have addictions and supporting them in research and treatment programs. From there, I worked in social policy programs, helping women and children, helping with programs for workforce development. And then now, in the roles I am, and in consulting I did a little bit of work with U.S. government consulting and doing work with the Food and Drug Administration and with public health and now more recently in this this, this gig right now that I'm in in doing a global diversity equity inclusion. So all of my work has really been around purpose, is making sure I am serving people that are in need in some capacity. I do all of this. I also am a board member for global humanitarian organization called Penny Appeal. As a board member, I support a strategic sense, but the end of the day it is a humanitarian organization that tries to build sustainable change and build programs globally and domestically. I go through these cycles where I'm doing different bits of work, but I always ask the question, is this fulfilling my purpose? Is this filling up my soul? In in terms of my faith, am I doing the right thing? Am I helping people with whatever I'm doing? Islam for me teaches me I'm in this life, in this world for kind of short minute and I want to make sure when I'm here I'm doing the most impactful thing I possibly can do that is within my realm of control. Spending 40-50-60 hours a week and making sure I'm doing work that is fulfilling to someone else. I feel very proud about that. 

Méli:  Yeah. And I hear that through-line in all of those different jobs, different, different focus. But the sense of purpose and the sense of helping others in need comes through very strongly. I wanted to ask just a little more about this Penny Appeal. Can you say a little more about what their focus is and what you do for them? 

PENNY APPEAL USA:

Prianka:  So I am a Board Member for the USA organization and so Penny feels a very small humanitarian organization. Their focus is, with its name Penny Appeal, it's ‘small change, makes a big difference’. They support in disaster relief, they do proactive programs as well. So the thought is, you don't necessarily want to just give money for food. If a community is struggling in a different country, the thought is: How can we build them garden beds? How do we give them solar water pumps? How can we give them a pregnant cow or pregnant sheep? Making sure something that we provide in terms of solution can allow them to reap more than that first time. It's a very much a new concept in terms of programs that's very much forward thinking and innovative. I was introduced to it through friends and family and their motto and their strategy and their thought process aligned to my beliefs and purpose and and they were open to having a young board member too, because I'm fairly young for for their current board staff. I'm very proud to be a part of that organization as well. 

Méli:  Thank you for explaining. That sounds really important. And and this distinction between helping a community in a current crisis versus helping them to improve more foundational systemic structures so that moving forward they're in a stronger position. 

Prianka:  Absolutely if any field does both. And I think that's what's unique because I think a lot of organizations will go for disaster relief as quick and easy, but what happens when all that support and media coverage is there and then that's gone. How do they continue to rise and build their community and and their infrastructure? So I appreciate that it feels more fulfilling and more of a relationship building versus transactional. 

Méli:  I would argue, though, that both are needed. 

Prianka:  Absolutely. 

Méli:  You know, when there's a disaster, you need those those folks who can jump in and bring out the people under the rubble or distribute water and provide healthcare. And then there's a longer term. I think these are really compatible arms of the same effort. So thank you for bringing all of us greater awareness of this important work. What is your current practice? 

Prianka:  I think Islam is a journey. I'm not perfect at it, as much as I am a perfectionist, one of those things I continue to work on. Growing up, I learned from my mom, actually. She told me stories. She read me the Qur’an, she modeled praying, she modeled how to interact with people, how to face adversity. And so for me, a lot of my faith and what I've learned so far has been from her and and I can, you know, grow in that space. When I picked my spouse, I always wanted someone that was more knowledgeable than I was, simply because I could learn more from them and that I could continue to grow. And also this person being more knowledgeable than me could help in terms of our future children and and help them to understand the faith of it better. And I did. I surely got someone that is more knowledgeable, thankfully. But for me, you know how I practice is by praying it is by being a good human being. It's helping people understand my faith and all the positivity behind it. It is, you know, me being modest in terms of how I wear my clothes. It's me learning. Continue to learn more. It's me giving Zakat, or sadaqah, which is the form of charity that's required of Muslims. It's me fasting during Ramadan. It's me making up fast that I miss from the times that I was pregnant or nursing. It's me teaching my children aspects of our religion, the stories, the history. It is me absolutely being very clear to people that I'm Muslim and not hiding my face. It's the way I eat. I eat, only eat halal. So right now I practice my faith in what I wear, what I say, what I do, what I hear, what I eat. It's in every element of who I am. I'm not the best at my faith. I am not the most amazing human being or best human being there could be in my faith. But for me, it's a journey. It's something that I continue to grow in. I think one of the areas that I'm deficient or very self-aware of is, is my knowledge in the in the space and how much I read Qur’an. It's one of those things that I continue to have to grow in and oftentimes I use Ramadan, which is coming up in one week at this point, little little over a week now, or use Ramadan as my point to create a habit for myself, a positive habit. I'm hoping this from Allan is an opportunity for me to like learn more, be able to open the Qur’an a bit more and learn more and then engage with the community in in my local mosque as well as much as I can. So that's how I practice my faith and each time that I have left the US I have gotten stronger in my faith and the places that I've traveled are predominantly Muslim. So I'm sure it has helped when I've traveled to Turkey and you know, learn about Turkish history and seeing the mosques and has definitely made it stronger for me traveling to UAE, being able to see the different mosques, see how people engage in a Muslim country has definitely made me stronger in my faith. I've been to Saudi Arabia as well and been able to take part and been invited by imam, like to be able to take part in some of the pilgrimage as well and and visit his house. So that has definitely made me stronger in my faith. Going to Bangladesh has as well, because there's so many opportunities, when I do visit Bangladesh to give charity, to be cognizant of my privilege and the blessings that I have, I think of it as an opportunity for me to be very aware of what I have and how it could all go away in one second, but to understand how much of a blessing I have. 

Méli:  A lot to be grateful for in there. And I hear how all-encompassing it is. And I imagine that that very fact is helpful, that each element helps strengthen the other elements. So it's not just about praying five times a day, it's not just about Ramadan once a year. It's really each one helps the other. This is this is what I imagine. It's my own experience as a Jew. 

Prianka:  Yeah, one thing that growing up, I recognize Islam as these specific rituals. But as you learn more about the religion, I think it was very clear to me that it's the way you live your life. It's not these specific rituals, Islam in in the Qur’an and all these stories that are in the Qur’an, if you've I've read through it and it teaches you. How to engage with people, how to live your life, how to, you know, engage with your family and where to build in those bits of patience and mercy and how to be kind to yourself. It shows kind of every element as I've grown through the years and and taking on different roles in my life and different things that I do and. Wherever I am in the country or in in the world, it tells me where my North Star is and my anchor is. 

Méli:  So given that Ramadan is starting very soon, is there a certain idea or prophet or Qur’anic verse that you would like to focus on this year? 

RAMADAN:

Prianka:  I don't think I've kind of specifically picked something to focus on. For me it's refreshing myself in the Qur’an just because I did learn it when I was younger. My parents got a tutor for me when I was in high school and and I haven't really been focused on it since then, to be honest with you. So for me it's just carving out that time to be able to read Qur’an, but not just read it but understand it. There's so many elements during Ramadan where you are very aware, if you are not already, of your religion. You know with you fasting you have a lot more time to pray. Not eating, it gives you a lot of free time and you don't realize that you have, like, half a day now that you're not eating, so you have more time to pray, you have more time to read the Qur’an, you're very aware that you're fasting, so you are very careful with the words you're choosing, how you engage and what you listen to, what you say. I try to avoid music, I try to save up my time outside of work – I will be working during this – on listening to lectures, gathering more knowledge and insights, being able to teach my kids lessons that they'll remember for a long time. Being able to give them that family time and that excitement because celebrating Ramadan in the US is very different from celebrating in different countries. Unless you're in a specific Islamic school, you don't get off during that month. Depending on the county that you live in, they might have, you know, a day off, but it's not a big deal. And so for me, very much during Ramadan, I try to make it a very big deal for my kids in terms of it being a holiday, because they see all these other holidays but they don't really see Ramadan being so commercialized. We are seeing it more now but being able to give them that environment of getting excited to go to the mosque and going for prayer after you breaking your fast, getting excited to break our fast, seeing your parents praying and reading Qur’an throughout the day and all these kind of acts of worship that you do. So just making it very exciting. 

Méli:  You know, these major holidays are communal, but they're also personal and I was just curious how how you looked at it. All right, as our time draws to a close, I'm curious if there is something that you would like to say to the non-Muslims in the audience, something you'd like them to better understand. 

Prianka:  Well, that's a good question. For the listeners who might not know about Islam or how someone is or I think it's just being open, right? I think I think one thing that people often forget is they think of Islam being very closed and very strict and very private. And to learn more just absolutely feel free to ask. Any Muslim person would be so open to answering questions and telling you more. And actually that's one of the things in our religion that is thought about very positively and it's one of our requirements, is helping people understand about this religion because it might seem very strange and weird to people outside of it – of you don't drink water and food for 30 days until the sun goes down at the specific time? It sounds all very bizarre, I know. Or you pray on the specific rug and the specific direction at the specific time. It may sound very strange and all these things might sound very strange, but just feel free to ask those questions and I think any Muslim person would be very open to answering those questions, helping you understand and where they are in their journey. Yes, religion can be private. But in Islam we practice ours in a very big community very much we have Friday prayers that are very big and we pray together side by side. People you don't know, your feet touching each other, your shoulders touching each other, you break your fast in a big community. People you don't know, you give them dates, you give them food and you give money for people you don't know. So though Islam might seem private and guarded with women that cover their faces and their hairs, and the people are very open and they're always open to answering any questions. 

CLOSING:

Méli:  Thank you for that. And it's it's a really important point. I think it takes somebody from within a community to explain these differences. So this is why it's so important to me to have folks from different communities on my podcast. And I thank you for coming on my Livng Our Beliefs podcast and helping us all understand more about you as an individual and also something more about living as a Muslim in America today. 

Prianka: Thank you for the opportunity. 

Méli:  My pleasure.

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Méli:  Thank you for listening.  If you’d like to get notified when new episodes are released, hit the SUBSCRIBE button. Questions and comments are welcome and can be directly sent to info@talkingwithgodproject.org. A link is in the show notes. Transcripts are available a few weeks after airing. This podcast is an outgrowth of my Talking with God Project. For more information about that research, including workshop and presentation options, go to my website – www.talkingwithgodproject.org.  Thank you so much.  Till next time.  Bye bye. 

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